I just finished reading the book “The End of Life Book Club” by Will Schwalbe. In it, he describes his mother's cancer journey. Both he and his mother are avid readers so because they are spending so much time together through appointments and chemotherapy sessions, they begin to recommend books to each other and start to refer to it as their own little book club. I found some great recommendations throughout this book.
I've mentioned before of some of the positive aspects that come out of a cancer diagnosis and related “not-so-great” prognosis. Number one is appreciating and enjoying each and every moment of every day. I've embraced the concept of mindfulness which is all about living in this very moment, right here, right now. I wish I had discovered this sooner in life!
I've learned the importance of reducing stress and taking the time to think about all the beautiful things in life. I wake up every day thankful to be alive and appreciative of the fact that I've had such a great life and been blessed with a great family. I'm one lucky man.
Early on after I was diagnosed late last year I started to get back into music and playing my guitar. We've set up a new, separate jam/rehearsal room in the basement primarily for the kids and now have all the instruments in one place. The kids now do their band rehearsal there with their very first public performance this Saturday through their Jam School. Unfortunately for myself, I have not been playing as much as I'd like to but recently have slowly begun to get back into it. Just got another new guitar (yes I needed “another” new guitar - and for my musician friends, it's a beautiful "Acoustic Cargo" composite). I'm still planning to arrange that music night after I've completed my chemo since my state lately has been generally unpredictable.
One of the great things that I've been doing lately since my diagnosis has been getting back into reading. Serious reading. When I was young I became an avid reader and I remember even bringing books to school and reading at recess and lunch hour in between ball hockey games. I went through a period in my late 20s and early 30s (when I was single and had more time on my hands) in which I became obsessed with classic books and read every day. For many years, each morning and evening you would see my face buried in a book on the GO train to work from Richmond Hill to Toronto. In recent years I have not been reading very much unless you count technical books and magazines (which actually doesn't count).
It's been such a great thing for me to really get back into reading books particularly this year. I'm also happy that Shayne and Anika have embraced reading as well. Kathryn is also an avid reader. Her mother read to her every night when she was young, and she now does the same with her own children. No matter how busy Kathryn is, regardless of how early she woke up that morning, how little sleep she's had, how busy and stressed she is at work, she always finds the time to read to the kids before they go to bed. It's like their own little private ritual. Shayne is now reading books on his own and working his way through book series’ that he finds interesting. Anika is also getting better at reading but at this time still prefers Mom (and sometimes Dad) to read to her before bed.
These days, I seem to be switching in between non-fiction books on serious topics like cancer, healing, medical-health-related, general inspirational, and fiction. I'm really finding it inspiring to read about the stories of ordinary people who have gone through a life changing journey and took the time to write about it and share their stories. Its really nice to read about the things they've gone through and suggestions they have as I can usually relate very much to their personal experiences.
I've now read more than 15 books in the last 2 months and many have really inspired me and helped me with acceptance and putting things into perspective. I know that I have a great many friends out there who have either gone through cancer or other serious illness, or have been through it with a family member or close friend as caregiver. I also have a lot of amazing writer friends out there, so for all of you, here are some of my book recommendations in case you are interested:
Cancer / medical-health-related / inspirational:
“When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi - perhaps the one that I can relate to the most, this is an incredibly well-written book by a very young neurosurgeon who was diagnosed with terminal cancer in his 30s. Thanks to my sister Sue for this exceptional recommendation! (she insisted last weekend I drop my other books immediately and read this one - I complied as any good brother would and read it in a single day!).
"Anticancer" by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber - similar story to "When Breath Becomes Air" - about a young doctor that is diagnosed with terminal cancer in his 30s and his own story. He actually beats it and talks a lot about what he did to supplement the conventional medical treatments. He is now 15+ years cancer-free. Great book and really well-written!
"Radical Remission" by Kelly Turner - she studies those whose cancer has gone into remission and summarizes what they have done - nine chapters, one chapter for each item (ie: first one is "Radically Changing your Diet") - gives you hope. I loved this book!
"Malignant Metaphor" by Alanna Mitchell - author's brother-in-law is diagnosed with cancer and she helps him do research and writes this book about what she learns.
"Zen Cancer Wisdom" by Daju Suzanne Friedman - great, positive advice for those living with cancer and/or their caregivers.
"You Can Conquer Cancer" by Ian Gawler - older book but still relevant - also about a doctor who went through cancer and recovered, emphasizes the power of the mind, family, and social support.
"You Can Fight for your Life" by Lawrence LeShan - author is a doctor that spent 20+ years doing research about how the mind and emotions has an effect on cancer - this got me into "Mindfulness" - read a couple of books about it and now do it every day - it's helped me a lot.
"The Rough Guide to Mindfulness" by Albert Tobler and Susann Herrmann - good introduction to the concept of mindfulness and living in the moment - has had a really positive effect on me and motivated me to get back into Yoga and light exercise as well (although I admit I NEED to do these things more consistently!).
"The End of your Life Book Club" by Will Schwalbe - about a book publisher whose mother is diagnosed with cancer - he ends up spending lots of time with her, talking and recommending various books - found some great book recommendations to add to my book list while reading this one.
"Learning to Say Good-bye - When a parent dies" by Eda LeShan - writes about the questions that children have when a parent dies. Unbelievably, the author's mother died when she was only 5 years old and she was never properly told about what happened, only that mother had "gone away". This had an extremely negative effect on her life. She only found out the truth when she was much older. She wrote the book to help people properly tell children the truth in a practical and compassionate way. Need to consider this as our Plan "B". (I once interviewed a female indie musician for a short documentary film I was working on and asked her what her Plan "B" was should she not make it in music. She looked me in the eye and confidently said "There is no Plan B - I WILL make it in music". She is currently in her mid 40s and still trying. Not having a Plan "B" - bad idea . . .)
"The Reason you Walk" by Wab Kinew - story about a traditional indigenous chief who is diagnosed with cancer, written by his son who reconnects with him throughout his illness and eventual passing.
"On Living" by Kerry Egan - writes stories about her patients in hospice and the different ways that people face death.
“Ghost Rider” by Neil Peart - this is more in the category of “inspirational”, I read this book back in the late 90s when it first came out and recently re-read it once again. Neil Peart is the drummer and lyricist for the band “Rush” (a band I’ve always loved starting back in high school). He tragically lost both his only daughter and wife in the span of a year and was left alone and broken, and decided to embark on a courageous healing journey on his motorcycle all across North America. A well-written and very inspiring book.
“The Perfect Vehicle - What is it about Motorcycles” - after watching the film “The Bucket List”, about two terminally ill men who decide to skip treatment and travel the world to check off their bucket list items (meaning I suppose, things to do before they “kick the bucket”), I began to think about what I would do if I did not have my family - perhaps something like travel the world (as the guys in “The Bucket List” film did), or take off through Canada and United States on a motorcycle (as Neil Peart did as described in his book “Ghost Rider”). I’ve always had this fascination with motorcycles. Perhaps I’ll write my own fictional book about a journey of healing on a motorcycle to satisfy my fantasy.
Fiction:
“The Death of Ivan Ilyich” by Leo Tolstoy - mentioned in the book "Anticancer" by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber, an interesting examination of facing your mortality, death, and the possibilities of redemption.
“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” by Robert M. Pirsig - an examination of how we live - growth, discovery, and acceptance, a modern day classic, and another great motorcycle trip story.
“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelo - great recommendation from Kathryn from her vast book library (which I once again need to revisit), a compelling story with many great life lessons weaved into it.
Up next on my book list:
“The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch, “Picture your life after Cancer” by the New York Times, “Dying to be Me” by Anita Moorjani, “A Year to Live” by Stephen Levine, “The Etiquette of Illness” by Susan Halpern
Fiction: “Crossing to Safety” by Wallace Stegner and “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini
If anyone out there is interested in an informal, virtual “Book Club” please let me know. Send me your book recommendations and I’ll put them on my book “Bucket List” and if I read any new good ones I'll send them your way.
Today I had my 4th chemotherapy treatment (of 6 in total) and so far all is well. I’m a bit nervous after the last one, in which I was quite sick for about a week thereafter, but it looks like we've determined that the real culprit was likely a virus so I’m hoping that this time will be better.
The entire family is looking forward to our upcoming vacation in Nova Scotia in July. It's going to be awesome!
Once again, and I can’t say it enough, thanks to everyone for all of your kind words, dinners (on occasion brought directly to my home!), lunch invitations, visits, and overall friendship and concern. Even though she is also going through a lot these days herself, my dear sister Sue is always inquiring on how I'm doing without fail. She is amazing - it means a lot to me.
The love of reading
