The first was on Tuesday October 11 when my neurosurgeon Dr. R delivered the news to me just before my discharge from hospital that an infection had been ruled out. My heart sank. I found myself alone in my hospital bed. My first thought was about Kathryn and my kids without their daddy. It was horrifying.
The second was on Sunday October 23 when once again Dr. R shocked me with the confirmation that the brain tumour and tissue found was in fact cancer. My first thought was about Kathryn and my kids without their daddy. It was horrifying.
Yesterday, Wednesday November 9, 2016, I had a series of appointments at Grand River Hospital in Kitchener/Waterloo starting with the medical oncologist Dr. B and radiation oncologist Dr. G. They went over with us the results of the various tests that I have been going through over the past week: CT Scan, Bone Scan, and Gastroscomy consultation. The tests were revealing. It showed spots on my spine and in my ribs and bones, and seemed to confirm that the back pain that I have been experiencing since the middle August is in fact the cancer. They believe now that the main cancer is somewhere in the Gastrointestinal (GI) tract likely the esophagus or stomach. Either way, they went ahead yesterday and got me started on radiation treatment which I will continue through to next week.
Yesterday was a blur. Altogether, the cancer centre at Grand River had arranged a total of 8 different appointments between the hours of 9:00 am and 5:00 pm when I was able to get my first radiation treatment. It was quite amazing. Kathryn and I were very pleased with the professionalism and compassion of every single member of the hospital staff that we encountered. After the medical oncologist and radiation oncologist, we met with a registered dietician consultant to talk about food and diet, had a radiation planning CT Scan done, met with a social worker to mostly discuss how best to discuss these issues with our children, and finally the first radiation treatment. They believed that it was important to begin radiation treatment immediately regardless of whether they have pinpointed the root cause of the cancer because they were now certain that it was in the bones and spine and that it could hopefully relieve some of the pain that I’ve recently experienced with my back. At the end of next week I will get a Gastroscomy and Colonoscopy which will reveal more and hopefully pinpoint where the cancer is originating from.
This primary/secondary tumour phenomenon that I have is actually called metastatic carcinoma which is defined as the spread of cancer cells from the primary site of origin (where it started) into different areas of the body. As medical oncologist Dr. B described to us, the scan showed thickening at the place between the esophagus and the stomach and she believes that the likely primary site of origin is likely stomach cancer. She does not think that it can be cured and believes it can be treated with a good chance of getting it under control. We plan to seek out other opinions and options and do our best to learn and hopefully get help in living my life as long as I possibly can. I have too many things to achieve and need to be here for my family for as long as I possibly can.
Yesterday was indeed a shock, but to be honest, my constant back pain over the past few weeks had me convinced that this is the news that was to come. I have already prepared for it and accepted it and know that I just need to deal with it the best way I can. As much as I’d like to scream, complain, curse, break, throw, hurt, or protest, I just can’t seem to get there and it’s interesting because I always thought I would. I just can’t help but look back at my life - my 52 years so far, and just remember in amazement at all of the good that’s happened and how I came to this point. Six years ago I survived the Sudden Cardiac Death, of which I was told only 2% of those who experience it survive, so I already feel that I’ve been given a full 6 year life extension. The way I look at it now is that every single day is a bonus. Every single day is precious. Looking up at the sky, seeing my children’s faces, spending time with Kathryn, with friends, and just breathing in the fresh air are all things that are precious to me right now. This all makes me very happy, and I do feel very happy today.
Last night, my good friend Jamie Mitges invited me to play music with him at Manhattan’s in Guelph, along with our new friend Fredrico from Italy. What an amazing night it was. After a day like yesterday, it was just what I needed. Jamie, Fredrico and I had one rehearsal together earlier in the week and then played and so many of my amazing friends including my sister Sue came out to watch. Thank you so much to everyone who came out yesterday, many of whom surprised me. To end this “bad news” day with such a special evening was truly a blessing.
It was a day that I will never forget, followed by a night that I will never forget.
First radiation treatment followed by "Music Therapy" at Manhattan's in Guelph with good friends:
Thanks for sharing buddy.
ReplyDelete