Love life

My father, Anton Gal, came to Canada in the 1950s from the former Yugoslavia (Croatia) after the war along with three friends in the hopes of a new life, to one day settle in, raise a family, and make a better life for his future children and family. He spent time working hard chopping trees in northern Ontario before finding a job as a tailor at Simpsons. He met my mother a few years later, they married, and although they had no knowledge of the English language, were not highly educated or connected - through sheer hard work and dedication were able build a life in this country and in my opinion achieve the greatest of success.

My father passed away on June 29, 2009. He died in my arms. He was surrounded by family, but I was the lucky one to be able to hold him one last time as I begged him to let go and end his long suffering.

In 2004 my father was active at age 83 and walked between 8 and 10 km per day. He would stop and chat with all the neighbours and in the winter months, do his daily walk over at the local mall where he had his group of friends that he made there. We teased him about his “girlfriends” at the mall. He always had a smile on his face and spoke and got along with everyone he met.

It all started with loss of balance and then sudden falls, but over the course of 2004 and 2005, my father became unsteady and eventually had difficulty walking. Over the next 3 years, we visited many doctors and specialists, he was given countless drugs and medication, and finally diagnosed with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (which is essentially like a slower, prolonged version of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS - also known as Lou Gehrig's disease). He soon ended up in a wheelchair and required the help of caregivers.

Over the next couple of years we watched helplessly as he deteriorated until he finally passed away in 2009. It was an extremely difficult time for the entire family, particularly my mother and sister Sue who dedicated their lives to helping him so much in those final years, months, weeks and days. Talk about true love.

My father battled through his illness but always remained positive. We were amazed by his attitude despite being in extreme pain for such a long period of time, and he always retained his sense of humour and love of life right until the end. My mother always noted how he never complained. He's my hero.

Today, I communicate with my father on a regular basis, and he is helping me through my current situation by telling me that regardless of the outcome it will be OK. I firmly believe it's the spirit and motivation of my family and others that have completely filled me with a new level of love and hope -  something that is hard for me to describe but it’s there and it’s strong. I’ve always been a spiritual person since childhood but what I’ve experienced recently is something truly special and beyond what I have ever known before this.

This past weekend we were in Stratford attending the play "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" with the kids and our great friends the Barbours, who have four kids of their own. What an amazing weekend we had with Jim, Carrie, and their incredible kids! On the way back on Sunday morning, I was happy to be invited by our friends Anne-Marie, Tracey, Rob and Marian to the Grace Community Church. Shayne and I went, and very early on in the service, Pastor Todd asked the entire congregation to join together to pray for me. Linda, who was standing beside me, held me with her hands very tight to my heart. I trembled and my heart just raced as Pastor Todd asked for prayer, and was overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of everyone. It was extremely emotional and a moment that I will never forget.

Since this all began, so many people who care have sent me their kinds thoughts and words, suggestions, ideas, links to articles and videos, books, stories about their loved ones and friends battling cancer, alternative cancer treatments, it just keeps going and going . . .

I just want you all to know how much I appreciate it and that I’ve been open to all of this and have in fact tried a good many of them along with lots of  reading and watching of videos. We learned a great lesson just over four years ago when we moved to Guelph from Toronto that being open to new things and ideas can open up a new world and the move here ended up being the best thing we’ve ever done (aside from having our kids)!

Throughout this journey, we’ve been so impressed by our health care system and all of the amazing individuals we’ve come across. People like the receptionist at the Imaging Centre of Guelph General Hospital, and how she happened to hear about my heart issue and started asking me about screening of my sister and kids. She was going way beyond what I was there for and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was genuinely concerned and really cared about me.

Each time I see my family doctor, Dr. C, and nurse K, I can feel their compassion and concern. It feels much more than a patient-doctor relationship. I feel as if they are going through this with me. I feel lucky to be in their good hands, trust them 100%, and want to thank them for all they have done for me so far.

The staff at Grand River Hospital and Grand River Regional Cancer Centre have also been so amazing, every single one of them, and we have been impressed by how they have done things efficiently and “on the fly” starting with my quick and urgent start of radiation treatments last week to alleviate my obvious back pain. Thank you to everyone there!

Philanthropist and former co-CEO of RIM / BlackBerry Jim Balsillie and wife Heidi donated $5 million and raised more than $44 million for local hospitals for major redevelopment projects, including the Grand River Regional Cancer Centre. The Balsillie’s donation was the largest gift ever made to health care in the region. When you go through something like this and are able to take advantage of a world class facility like this Cancer Centre and it’s amazing staff, it really makes you appreciate the kindness and generosity of those who go out of their way to contribute to such worthy causes in helping others.

Today is Thursday, November 17, 2016, and I now have two days of fasting where I can only drink water and have soup broth. It’s 9:30 am and I am very hungry, but I suppose I better get used to it!

I am scheduled to have both a Gastroscopy (examination of the upper digestive tract - esophagus, stomach and duodenum - using an endoscope - a tube with camera) and Colonoscopy tomorrow (Friday) and likely these two tests will be the final ones to determine the root cause of my cancer. Yesterday, I completed my 5th radiation treatment which was aimed at the spots/cancer that were found on my spine and in my bones and back.

We remain hopeful and I am appreciating every single day and ever thankful for my friends and family. I still have a lot to achieve, but in the immediate future, there are two things I want and need to do by the end of this year: arrange a music night at Manhattans and travel to Europe with my family.

Within the next week or so I am going to arrange a music night open mic with friends at Manhattan’s in Guelph. It will likely be a Sunday afternoon or evening early in the week and I plan to bring my drums, amplifiers, guitars, instruments and have a kind of open jam with friends going up and performing. I will let you all know!

The other thing that Kathryn and I have talked about is a trip to Croatia with our family between Christmas and New Years with a stop in Paris, France, a place that my 6-year old daughter Anika has dreamed of going. I want my kids to know my relatives in Croatia as I have known them from the time my parents took me there a young child and I can’t wait to take a photograph of Anika beside the Eiffel Tower!

I will be meeting with my oncologist in the middle of next week and will likely have more news as a result of my Gastroscopy and Colonoscopy tests on Friday.

My good friend Jamie Mitges, who is a world class musician and composer, composed a beautiful song for me the other day which he called “Love Life”. So, hug your kids and loved ones, breathe in the air, appreciate each moment – and love life!