The waiting is the hardest part

"To make me wanna live like I wanna live now
I said yeah yeah - yeah yeah yeah yeah . . .
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you get one more yard
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part"
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, 1981 (album Hard Promises)

My dear Kathryn likes to plan things out in advance. A few years ago when my cousin Pero from Croatia came to stay with us in Toronto for a few months, he called her "bookie". She loves to book trips, weekends, getaways -  yes she's a real planner. As you can imagine, the situation we are currently in is not ideal for someone like Kathryn. Am I going to be here another 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years? This we don't even know at this point, and with or without the Dexamethasone steroid medication that I'm on, it can almost make you crazy sometimes. But, as the sitcom character Baboo once said on the show Seinfeld, "The Wheels are in Motion". I have a string of appointments lined up in the next week beginning today (Thursday, Nov. 3), including CT Scan, Oncologist, Radiation doctor, Gastroscopy consultation, and much more to come. My back has been bothering me a lot lately, which I'm now convinced is linked to the tumour, so I'm very anxious to get these tests over with so that we can find out what is going on and then deal with it in the best way possible.

I want to thank all my visitors, friends, and neighbours who have come by to see me and those constantly offering help and well wishes, you have no idea how much it means to me. It's really been nice talking with you, reading your advice and survival stories, and believe me I feel the warmth and concern from all of you. I even continue to experience it every single day from perfect strangers.

Phil and I were sitting outside at Erik The Baker's a couple of days ago and a woman next to us, who happened to be speaking to her friend about faith and religion, noticed my scar and eventually upon finding out about my cancer, began to pray for me. Really loud. Really, really loud! I could see the look on Phil's face as she called on the Virgin Mary. Phil later suggested that I name my next Blog entry "Bringing out the Big Guns". She had tears streaming down her face as she prayed "please help Ed, help him to be strong - Mother Mary give him strength . . .". When she was finished about four minutes later I gave her a big hug and thanked her. I was moved, I was grateful.

On Sunday and Monday I did a "Toronto Road Trip" and saw a number of my good friends: hockey buddies on Sunday night, the musicians at the Supermarket Free F'all Sundays open mic, my former colleagues at the Swiss Bank, good friends, and as an added bonus saw my amazing incredible sister Sue on the Monday just before heading back to Guelph for Halloween with the kids. Sue came all the way down from Richmond Hill to midtown Toronto just to see me for a brief 20 minutes. My Sunday night accommodations at the "Hotel Hugh and Nora" were 5-star all the way!

On Monday morning, I took a taxi cab from Hugh and Nora's house downtown to my former next door neighbour and good friend Scott's place in our old Toronto neighbourhood in midtown. My cab driver was a very nice Indian gentleman named Kumar. We had such a great conversation I really enjoyed speaking with him. He just seemed like a really nice, genuine, warm-hearted person. He was very curious about Guelph and talked about getting out of the big city and retiring in a couple of years to a smaller town or community. We were driving down my former street on Cranbrooke Avenue and as we approached Scott's house I started to get my things ready and took my hat off. He noticed my scar and of course asked me about it. I told him my story: the tumour, the cancer, but was taken aback by his reaction. This is a man I had never met before. We had spent approximately 22 minutes together talking in the taxi cab from Queen & Carlaw to Yonge & Lawrence. I could not believe the words that were now coming from his mouth:

"I cannot work today".

"I have to change my life".

I gave him $40 in cash but he tried to refuse it, handing it back to me. I insisted he take the money. I couldn't believe his reaction and had to remind myself that 30 minutes ago I did not even know this man. He told me that I had changed his life, but the thing that he didn't realize is that he also changed mine. We exchanged phone numbers and I called Kumar on the phone yesterday. It was as if we had always known each other. He was happy to hear from me and asked me how I was doing. I reiterated to him that if he is serious about moving to a small community and would like a tour of Guelph one day, that I will be his tour guide and show him around the area. Kumar is my friend and I look forward to seeing him again.

Exactly one month ago, on October 4, 2016, I developed a headache, sore eye, and it became the start of an unexpected journey, but today I feel that it's just the beginning and I accept whatever is to come my way.